Bold Moves: My Next Thirty Years!
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We have been in our present house for over 16 years. As military brats, and veterans, my husband and I both have had the urge to move, ‘they call it ‘itchy feet’, but circumstances like a job, has kept us planted. Even though we have wanted to move, we seem to lack the boldness to do such a thing. It seems as if things all around us are moving and changing but we remain planted firmly. I watch as my parents, who are in their seventies, make some major decisions, and boldly move in many areas in their life. I stand amazed. While many children, especially us baby boomers, are still caring for our own children, and parents, my parents seem to have taken wings, as they fly, doing their own thing.
There is a point to this rambling so I will try to get there soon. My parents have always enjoyed life. They have worked hard for what they have. My dad was thrifty and I guess you can say I grew up in a middle class family. He saved and paid cash for everything. He took care of what he had. When they retired, they began to travel, and enjoyed life until my dad had a stroke, leaving him paralyzed on the right side. Being the fighter he is, he worked hard so that he could drive, and transfer himself. To this day, he is still wheel chair bound but it has not deterred him from making bold moves in his older years.
I watch as my mom and dad continue to surprise me on every turn. It seems as if they are not scared of anything. They retired near us, buying a beautiful home on two acres. When dad had his stroke, it took my dad a few years to find his way. It was not a small stroke; it was a profound stroke, leaving him without any use of his right side. I remember the first time he wanted to drive. I had a fit…I was scared his reflexes were not good. He may cause an accident. I was not sure if he could even get a license again. Boy did he prove me wrong! He not only renewed his driver’s license, but also made several long distance trips across the country. Where at one time he could jump on the riding lawn mower and cut the grass, he now had to tie down his right leg, transfer from his wheel chair onto the riding mower. He was determined that he was still going to cut the grass.
A new bypass was being built and the city took a few feet of his front yard, and my parents were unsure how this would affect them so they decided to sell the home of their dreams. Moving into a smaller house, I watched as he renovated the whole house, overseeing the workers in every detail. Mom became sick and being the caretaker in many things for his personal care, he became afraid, forcing them to make a radical decision for them both. They decided to sell their little house and move into a retirement home. Suddenly all their care was taken care of for them. No longer did mom have to cook, dad would no longer have to take care of a lawn, and life changed dramatically.
Within three months, my dad became very depressed. My mom got better and seemed to enjoy the new home, but was worried about my dad. When you have been married that long, each other’s happiness counts for something. They found themselves helping other residents, coming and going still, but paid such a high price to live there. I remember my dad and mom approaching my brother and me about moving back into their little house. I was skeptical but at the same time, knowing my dad, I knew they would do what they really wanted and needed to do. My brother and I helped them move back home to their little home that had not sold.
My dad is one that works hard and has to have something to do. He has always been that way. Their little house had been upgraded and picture perfect. There was one problem. He had nothing to do, and would sit for days, just looking out the window. They once more approached my brother and me. They told us their original dream house is back on the market and the bypass is not going to be a problem, as they had thought. They were contemplating selling their little house and moving back to their dream home. The strange thing is as we all know, the market is horrible, but they already had a buyer for the little house. As their daughter, I was not that thrilled. They were making me tired emotionally with all their moving. I felt everyone was making these big moves and here I am stuck in the same place. I did not realize some of my feelings about them moving had more to do with my own life, and lack of boldness. I began to envy the fact that they could just pick up and do things so boldly, even in their seventies. I also realized who am I to tell them to do this or that. The most important thing is that they are happy. Why should this surprise me? My dad has more courage than anyone I know. He fought for his life not being defined by his chair or lack of mobility. Like a flower trying to burst out from some bricks, he did just that.
Saturday we met the realtor at their dream home and I watched as my dad rode all over the property, checking out this or that. The yard had been neglected; the trees and rose bushes that my dad had meticulously cared for were no longer alive. My mom walked through the house, smiling, I could tell she felt this was home. My dad did not want to go in the house, as his concern was the outside. The man showing the house began to talk about the man who lived here before, how nice he kept it, and was in a wheel chair, so everything was handicap accessible; not realizing it was my dad. Dad finally fessed up that it was he, who was the prior owner.
I realized as I walked through the house and the grounds that this was indeed their home. I also thought it did not matter if God gave my parents five years or twenty more, if they wanted to come home, then it was their right to do just that. We only have one life. If this makes them happy then so be it. I can only hope that I too can muster enough courage to make those ‘bold moves’ and not be scared of the ‘what ifs.’
I then began to think about my own ‘bold move’ that I thought was lacking. Retiring early in life with the economy the way it is, seemed like a rather bold move. Attempting a writing career in my early 50’s seems rather silly but then I realized maybe the apple did not fall too far from the tree. My parents have taught me many things as I sit back and watch them maneuver through life. I should take my one life and live it to the very best of my ability. Do not hold back, as I only have one. It may be the simplest of things to major life changing things but in the end, I can look back without regrets. Fear is the greatest deterrent, but somehow I want to bottle that boldness that my parents have shown, take a few swigs, and keep walking.
We sat having coffee after we left the house and began talking about my new hubs called Burt and Birdie. My dad asked me if they were based on them. My mom looks at my dad and says BOLDLY..."Yes they are!" I told him they did remind me of Burt and Birdie but I changed the names to protect the innocent. I told my dad that they have more spunk and boldness than I had ever seen. They laughed and as we got up to leave, dad looks at my mom and says, “Come on Birdie!” I just shook my head and smiled.
I am not saying we have to move to be bold but if it is something, you want to do...then do it! Boldness is wrapped in little packages too. It does not have to be something major. I climbed the ladder and cleaned my ceiling fans. I have a fear of falling. With no one home to catch me... I am not sure if that was bold or stupidity...I could have laid there all night...but I am tired of fear keeping me from doing bold things and the fans were dirty!
I will close with some thoughts on ‘bold moves’ and just maybe…I will muster some of these and keep with me in my next 30 years…
Boldness to tackle life-changing events,
Boldness to tackle sicknesses,
Boldness to say what I feel
Boldness to move when I am scared,
Boldness to love deeper,
Boldness to forgive,
Boldness to say I am sorry,
Boldness to do it afraid,
Boldness to publish this hub admitting that I need more boldness,
Boldness not to hold back,
Boldness to live my next 30 years with boldness
Boldness to let go,
Boldness to hold on,
Boldness to say…I need more boldness.
Sunnie Day
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Thank you Sharon so much for your comment. It meant so much to me. Poor sweet Joe. Oh Sharon my heart breaks for him. I am sure he just wants to go home. It is so hard for the children to make these calls. If only there was a program that did not cost so much for some to be able to continue to live in their home with care 24 hours aday..Maybe bringing in another person to help with costs. So very sad..I am sorry you have had to watch this happen to your special friend,
Much Love,
Sunnie
Hi Sunnie, oh gosh, I'll try to make this brief, ha. You know about Joe I have been taking care of for over two years. He recently fell and I had EMS take him to the hospital. He was okay, no major injuries but his family felt this was the opportune time to get him assessed by Medicare to make the next move. Three days later, he was in a nursing home, skilled nursing unit. When I or his family is with him visiting, he seems fine for the most part. BUT, and it's a big BUT, he has acted out terribly at other times. He caused some problems at the hospital, but, the first night at the nursing home, after his daughter left following dinner, Joe started to get quite nasty. He was screaming, roaming the halls in his wheel chair, going in to others rooms and telling them he was going to get his gun and hurt them (he doesn't have a gun). It was very scary for the residents and workers. That same evening, they had Joe transferred to a nearby hospital. He was put on the "senior psych ward" to be evaluated. I am so sad. This isn't what Joe wants. He's scared and confused. He just wants to be home. The family is meeting with professionals to discuss the pros and cons of bringing him back home. My heart just breaks. His whole world was shaken and it's painful, no doubt. We will know next week the best decision for all involved. I really give your parents credit, but also YOU TOO. It is so wonderful that you are able to stand by them, even though you have concerns, and let them live their life. Wow, this all really struck a cord in me - thanks for listening. Big hugs,
Sharyn
Thank you lord for your kind comment...I appreciate your thoughts.. so nice. Have a blessed day.
Sunnie
Boldness to write, even though some might flag you down..You dad is a example of the millions of Americans that gave their lives for this 'ole Country of min..'Still remember that dear incident with your mom. You are such a caring daughter and we love you for that!
LORD
Thank you Stessily,
You make me smile..such an encouraging comment
Sunnie
Sunnie, Throughout this compelling, humorous tribute to your dad, I am in awe of your dad's unabated boldness. He's an inspiration, a role model for all ages and walks of life. And the apple definitely has not fallen far from the tree, for your bold moves are making themselves known and felt.
You go, girl!
Kind regards, Stessily
Hi Marie,
I admire you boldness, it is such a wonderful trait. I think I am getting more bolder with age. At leaset I hope so. I wish I had boldness in my younger years. Thank you so much for such a great comment.
Much Love,
Sunnie
Dear Sunnie, I am born bold and it's actually difficult for me to understand people who are not bold. But the bolder you are, the harder it is to be responsible and unselfish. If I don't keep my head on my shoulders and forbid myself to be bold, I will do the most silly, selfish and irresponsible things on earth. In fact, I envy people who are not bold. Their lives seem to be less complicated and hectic than mine.
I like the way you write yourself out of doubt. This is such a privilege we writers have.
I would say don't be bold until life forces you to be bold. Don't break through walls, just move on until you have no choice but to make a choice between breaking your way out or slide back to where you already were.
I love your reasoning. And your parents are great... just like mine would have been if my father was still with us. Now I can only boast, proudly, with my mother.
Hi A.A. I am so not the bold one...but I do want to be bolder..maybe this will be my year! Thank you for your encouragement. Retireing was my first...so maybe I am getting bolder in my mature years...you notice I said mature..lol
Take care and thank you :)
Sunnie
It is hard to be bold. I've done bold things because it was the only way to break free from the rut I was in. I made some spectacular bold moves that have shocked me, but in the end initiated success. Your's will be successful as well.
Dear Phoebe
Thank you so much for such a kind comment. They truly are rare and I am feel blessed that I still have them with me. Thank you.
Sunnie
Wonderful writing! This hub is beautifully done and makes me automatically respect your parents. It's awesome that you have had such dedicated and inspiring parents.
haha...Thanks Will..thirty years is such a long time! When I was twenty thirty years seem like forever..
Thanks for stopping by.
Sunnie
Looking ahead thirty years? I'm just hoping to see tomorrow!
Hello Sue,
I do have to say they have always been encouragers and positive people...strict but supported what we wanted to do. I am thankful for that.Thank you always for stopping by.
Have a blessed day,
Sunnie
Hi Sunnie,
Your parents are the perfect role models of boldness, courage and living their life to the fullest and that has rubbed off on you.
Voted up up and away!
Have a good day.
Dear Mary,
I am so sure you have more spunk than most. When I read your hubs I can tell you have much heart. Right or wrong it was an adventure right? Thank you so much for reading!
Hugs,
Sunnie
What a sweet, inspiring Hub! I admire your parents very much as you do, too. I've done some pretty bold things in my life: some good, some not so good, but I enjoyed doing them. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you Debbie,
My whole family is still here so I know I will stay but those itcy feet make it hard sometimes...lol Thank you so much for stopping by..
Praise God for the military families.
Hugs,
Sunnie
Hello Neelesh,
So happy you came by..I do too my friend I do too!
Thank you.
Sunnie
i do hope have thee courage to be as brave when i am their age sunnie.keep us posted on them.It is inspiring.
Sunnie we have so much in common...my father is retired army and my husband is retired army...I have lived all over the world..so I know what you mean about wanting to mmove...but being settled down now in the same house for fourteen years. I want to move but I don't want to leave my house...I can relate...great hub sunnie..voted up...debbie
Hello Lesley and Ruchira,
Thank you for leaving such wonderful comments..Truley brought a smile..My parents are amazing in everyway..I hope you have a great evening.
Hugs,
Sunnie
Hi Sunnie,
Since all the above was coming from your heart...the rambling is excusable :)
Parents are known to set a good example to kids. I am glad your burt and birdie have been your inspiration :)
YES, I wish you boldness in every move you make in this wild wild world, my dear. If ever you feel something tight holding you...think of the example you want to leave your kids...that will make you take 4 steps towards your goal.
Go, find your dream home, gal and don't forget to install the internet ASAP in your new home. Gotta keep in touch with your hubber friends :)
Cheers!
Hi sunnie, your dad is an amazing person, all that he has achieved since his stroke is incredible, I so admire your parents and please pass on my best wishes to them.
A wonderful 'bold' hub, being bold isn't easy...
Thank you and voted up, best wishes Lesley
Hello Ann,
It is hard when they get sick or break a hip and have to go through rehab through a nursing home. Sometimes they get better and sometimes not. It is always sad to me as I know they just want to go home. My dad loves his bologna sandwiches..lol
Thank you for stopping by..
Hugs,
Sunnie
I think a person should remain independent as long as possible. I remember my mother broke her hip and was in a nursing home. At 97, her mind was bright and while she appreciated everything people did for her, she said she had rather be home with a bologna sandwich.
Hi Eddy,
It is so funny that we have been doing some deep thinking here! I just read your hub and commented..I am so happy and proud for you. You are going to do great and wonderful things. Thank you for always supporting me..
Love and hugs
Sunnie
Hi Sunnie Day my very dear friend,
You have the wonderful sunny disposition to tackle anything and achieve whatever you want to.
It's a little strange you publishing this one and I have only just published a hub on what I know I so want to do and now is the right time for me to be doing this.
It's different to yours but the theme is the same and it's strange because I was going to tell you what my next very important project is but didn't get round to it after all. Then I read this one which seems to second all I've said.
Strange but true my friend so I award you my very special 'up up and away' and can I say that your parents sound wonderful and they must be so proud!!!
Take care and I hope you have a wonderful day ; here's lots of hugs and love all the way from Wales for you.
Eddy.
Hello Rachel,
Thank you so very much for reading and passing on..Thanks for the encouragment.
God bless,
Sunnie
Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! I love it Sunnie! So, FB and Tweeted -- keep on with your boldness. :)
Oh Rosemary I have so many dreams and thoughts but to pin down one is so hard..i need to live many lives to fullfill them all...lol Thank you so much for reading and stopping by..
Love,
Sunnie
Hi Carter,
I know sometimes the roles start to change with parents and children..but I never want to be a dictator or selfish towards them. They are still vibrant and full of life..I want to support their endeavors like they have always done for me through good and bad..They are easy to love.
Thank you for reading and leaving such a kind comment.
Sunnie
A wonderfully warm hub. Your parents know what they want and what will make them happy and I admire them for actually DOING what they want to do. It must be so hard for you not to argue with them and state what you think is best for them, but to help them achieve what they wish shows what a loving caring daughter you are.
And yes you should be thinking about what it is that you really wnat too and DO it
Take care
You certainly are the exception to the rule Sunnie supporting your mum & dad out of a retirement home!!But good for you being able to see what's really important for them.
They are blessed to have you respond and support them like that. It sounds like they have worked out the formula for life to enjoy and make each day count. Lovely Hub X
lol Thanks Frog..I think it may come one day. Hope you are staying warm and not working too hard..
Take care,
Sunnie
SD - Y'all slap that "For Sale" sign in the yard and get happy feet. Looking at the market it might be a wise move. I'm just sayin...
The Frog
Hello Linda,
What a great comment thanks..I agree..I do think we have different seasons in our lives where we are bolder than others and yes never one person but constantly changeing..As a mom yes..always more than one person for sure..lol I think we do get scared at times and are afraid to step out..Sometimes we just have to find the strength to move..afraid or not..
Take care Linda and thanks again.
Sunnie
Brilliant Sunnie :) Just do it. Be bold. Love it.
I burst out of my shell when I was 19, after ... well, after pretty much 19 years of being painfully shy. It was the theatre that made me do it, and knowing that I was actually good at acting - I just knew that I had to be on the stage. I don't know why that happened, but I've never gone back into my shell since then. I didn't become a famous actress, but the theatre served its purpose for me, by making me discover who I was.
And then having my children had an even more profound effect on me - that made me REALLY bold. Perhaps it was to do with my protective instincts kicking in, and learning to stick up for my children when they needed it - I just discovered that I was really good at something, being a parent, and that if I was good at one thing, chances were that I might be good at some other things I'd never realised too. That's when I started writing, and decided that I'd probably just better write for the rest of my life!
Do you think we have periods of boldness in our lives, and then sometimes we forget how to step out of our comfort zones? We change so much over the course of a lifetime, and we are never just one person, but lots of different people (sometimes at the same time - how confusing!).
Linda.
Hi Mike,
I loved you comment so much..Yes...all those things played out in my mind but after much soul searching I applied it to my own life..what if my children said the same thing to me...mom why are you writing at 51 years of age..why are you even thinking about this or that...I never want to stand in front of anyones dreams..Moving them once again is such a small thing compared to them being happy and fullfilled.Be careful climbing those trees...I have faith in you! I know you can do it! Thank you for always writing the best encouraging responses..means so much.
Sunnie
Hello GM,
Thank you so much for such a wonderful inspiring comment. Age should not matter...and just because we age does not mean the wants, desires, and dreams are lost..we just have to find them.
God bless and thank you.
Sunnie
Sunny that is a bold story indeed. Your boldness in restraining yourself from screaming we just moved you. From shouting, that lawn is awfully big, do I get a riding mower. Your courage to bite your tongue for want of saying, ‘what are you thinking’. Instead you had the courage to know that your parents worked hard all their lives. The insight to know that an untold number of years of happiness is worth a few hours of moving them. Knowing they are where they feel safe will bring you inner joy.
Ok you have inspired me, I’m going to climb that thirty-five foot tree and cut those annoying branches. Guess I’d better say goodbye. Ok, heck with that.
This was such a warm and loving look at the way you see your family and how eloquently you fill your place in it.
To Sunnie Day: I loved this hub. Age is not a number but circumstancial. In other words, age should NEVER be an excuse not to do what you are put on earth for. Life has many roads to explore. One could not do everything in youth.
As one gets older, he/she is more experienced and wants to try new avenues. This is what keeps one young. There are sadly more people who fall into the "age trap" i.e. once one gets to be a "certain age", one could not do that anymore, one missed his/her chance/opportunity in life, and/or it is all over. I believe that these attitudes result in a negative self-fulfilling prophecy regarding age.
Discard all of the outworn stereotypes of age and LIVE to the milnillionth degree. I intend to do just that. I am 57 years old and having the glorious time of me-writing, sketching, and wearing outrageous clothes. Think of actress Betty White. She is a nonagenarian who intend not to slow down at all!
Hi Betty..Thank you for your sweet comment. So happy you enjoyed this one..they are getting used to me writing about them haha They are pretty special..
God bless,
Sunnie
I am going to share this with my family. You have a right to be proud your parents have a lot of courage and backbone. I hope I am so brave when I am there age. Thank you for sharing the inspiring story of your parents.
Hi Suzie,
Do you know I thought I was following you all this time...so sorry...I am now...thank you for reading and glad you liked this..
Take care my friend,
Sunnie
"Take my one life and live it to the very best of my ability. Do not hold back, as I only have one."
I loved this hub! Your parents sound like amazing people. I agree completely, we could all use a little more boldness to do the things that make us happy.
Voted up, beautiful, and awesome!
Dear Brenda,
First let me say I have missed you! I am so happy to see you back. I have had you in my thoughts and prayers. You my friend are the picture of boldness and I admire you so much! Thank you for leaving a great comment.
Look forward to seeing more of your smiling face,
Love,
Sunnie
Dear Pixienot,
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment. I appreciate it so much and you letting me know about my errors..went back and read aloud..I did do spell check but I think it has a mind of its own..I hope it flows better..Map..oh dear..well a thought was there and then left so did not delete the link..You did not miss anything..I should not be so BOLD in publishing without doing a little more editing..haha I am so happy this has encouraged you and I wish you many blessings on all your endeavors.
Thanks again.
Please come back.
Sunnie
Sunnie Day, This was an awesome hub.
It encouraged me from the get-go. Until the end I did not realize that that was your intent. You are courageous!!
I love your parents and all they have done. Moving is living, stagnation equals existence only. I believe I have been stagnating. No more!! Thank you.
The art work, cartoons, etc, was so very appropriate. I bet it was hard to choose. I saw your dad in the rock picture with the flower before even you said it.
I loved your wording, your passion and your honesty. You will do well on hub pages. (Do read your work aloud before you publish it; get rid of the misspellings)
Voted up, beautiful and useful!
I look forward to more from you.
PS: I lost something there... why the map?
Dear Natalie,
Yes my dear..."Do it Afraid!" Exactly...thank you.
Sunnie
Hi Dim,
I had to take notes and apply them in my own life this week as I watched my sweet parents once again apply boldness in their lives..not looking at it negatively but with awe..Thank you my dear friend,
Sunnie
Good Morning Bob,
I am so glad this gave you a pick me up today. When I feel down or defeated, all I have to do is look at my dad...and think I can do this too...He fights for every breath that is left in him to do something. I think the most important thing we can do as we age is not draw back but reach out..in doing that..I think many of our needs are met emotionally. Thank you for your lovely comment.
Hugs,
Sunnie
Hi Frank,
I am so relieved that my rambles may some sense..lol Thank you so much for taking time to read. Have a great day.
Sunnie
Dear chamilj
Thank you so much for stopping by and taking time to read. Have a blessed day,
Sunnie
Boldness is a lack of fear which is crucial to happiness and security. Your parents have in their hearts that amazing ability to know all will be right. You do too dear friend. I appreciate this view on boldness which is something I had to build as it did not come naturally. Now it is part of my spirit and I give God all the gratitude for it. Bless you.
Thanks for this. It is touching without being weepy. Remember, courage isn't the absence of fear, but it is acting despite fear. Good luck to you!
This was awesome!!! Yes and BOLD. It´s the sort of thing I need to read again.
Thank you for being bold enough to write it.
Take care, Dim
Sunnie. Yu could not have written a more inspiring hub for me. I am going through bad times being alone at 72, and to see what your dad has done really made me sit up and take notice.
No wonder you apparently have such inner strength with parents like these.
"flowers escaping some bricks." yes, how strong in the desire to live and reach the sun. And your dad determined to keep cutting the grass.
Your parents, too, must love your writing
Bob xox
Sunnie Day I understand the thought process behind this ramble LOL up and interesting :) Frank
I like your story. God Bless you!
PDXKaraokeGuy Level 8 Commenter 3 weeks ago
great story, Kimmie. Very inspiring!